It's Hard To Say There Is Nothing I Regret
by mattiboi
Summary: Cato returns to find Peeta in a downward spiral, having turned to drugs after they broke up days before he left for a chance to make it big. Now with nothing else in his life left he vows to help Peeta get back who he used to be. But with feelings never lost will Peeta transferring his addiction to Cato get in the way of them both finding happiness. Cato's POV. Peetato ofcourse.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay well I know unexpected release of a new story not in my list of ideas but this came to me a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to shake it which of course means I wasn't able to write updates on my other stories until I wrote this. Soooo here it is :) This chapter is kind of I don't know slow? Boring? You tell me but it's just and introduction I suppose. :/**

**I'm kind of nervous, I've never written from Cato's pov and I feel like maybe this isn't as good as my other newer stories... so please be nice. I do hope you like and and please if you do or if you just wanna say anything please please please review I could use all the feedback I can get. I know I say that a lot but it's true it really does help, not matter how small or insignificant it may seem. :). Anyways much love to you all. I hope all is well, I'm off to enjoy my weekend. (meeting alexander ludwig on sunday soooo I'm hell excited) **

**Oh ps I fly back one Wednesday Sooooo I'm hoping to get some updates done over next weekend if I'm not to busy. Sorry for making y'all wait. Xoxoxoxoxoxox**

**As I have said before, all grammar and spelling errors are my own and I apologise ahead. Also I do not own any part of the Hunger Games... wish I did but I don't still thank you Suzanne Collins for your amazing series.**

**Warning: smut, swearing, possible drug use, violence, boy on boy, possible girl on girl, talk of abuse, OOC-ness and all the wonderful bad things in life.**

It's Hard To Say There Is Nothing I Regret

Chapter One: Facing A Broken Heart

As I pushed my foot down onto the accelerator I replayed the voicemail message I had now played over ten times.

'Cato, I know you're back and I know he's not your responsibility anymore but I need your help. You know since you left he hasn't been the same and it's gotten worse, I'm really worried. He hasn't come home in days and he won't return my calls, if you hear anything please let me know.'

I sighed scrolling through my contacts until I found the number I wanted. I hesitated for a second, questioning if I would be able to do this. If I was prepared for what could happen if I saw that boy again. The problem was I felt partly responsible for how Peeta was acting now. Our relationship had never been perfect but I couldn't deny we had both truly loved each other at some point. And I knew some of that love was still there, hidden away.

Our relationship had lasted over four years before we had ended things abruptly, days before I had left for my training program abroad. Truthfully we had been having problems for months, me leaving was just a way for both of us to end things without really facing and fixing all the problems we had been having. Honestly I was angry at myself for having let Peeta go so easy but at the time we were in such a bad place that it had clouded my judgement and ruined any chance of us saving what we had.

I knew I had to do this, help him face his demons and get back to the boy I had fallen for years ago. It was the right thing to do. I pressed call and brought the phone to my ear. It rang a few times before I heard someone pick up.

"Cato? I haven't heard from you in ages, how's things going?"

"I'm good Marvel, and I know it's been awhile but I'm actually calling about Peeta." I reply hoping if what I heard was true, that if Peeta was self medicating he would still being getting what he needed from Marvel.

"Why am I not surprised. Look I know you're going to be pissed I'm still supplying him but I figured better me then some dodgy dealer who might physically hurt him when he's late paying."

"Marvel." I cut him off not wanting to hear excuses or him validating all the rumours surrounding Peeta. "Just tell me where he is tonight."

"I'm not sure honestly." I sigh starting to get pissed off. "Look let me make some calls and I'll get back to you alright."

"Thank you, I'll be waiting." I hang up the phone as I pull up to Peeta's apartment. Maybe there was a clue to where he had disappeared to. I walk up to the building and head for the staircase. After jogging up the three flights of stairs to the third floor I found the door I was looking for and knocked. A few moments later the door unlocked, Quinn's familiar blonde hair was the first thing that came into view. He was shorter then me, but still stood taller then Peeta. He had almost white blonde hair and have a very in your face style. Him and his twin sister Maddie were related to Peeta because his older brother married their older sister. And they had grown very close over the years.

He stood dumbfounded for a second just staring at me. "You're not my pizza." He blatantly rolled his eyes sarcastically but smiled at me and let me in. Walking in was a weird mix of deja vu and an uncomfortable feeling.

"It's changed a lot since I moved out." I say observing the new paint and furniture.

"He wanted a change after you left. So why are you here Cato? When I rang you I asked he you heard anything call me, not show up and possibly make things worse." Quinn said sitting down on and large purple couch. I knew he wasn't being rude, he was just concerned about Peeta.

"I feel like it's my fault." I simple answer. "So are you going to tell me how deep in he is?"

Quinn sighs and looks away from me. "To deep, he's totally lost. He's withdrawn, moody and blatantly using. He's been caught twice now, if he gets caught once more they are going to charge him. He hardly comes home anymore and I've tried so hard to fix it but he won't let me." Quinn seemed to be getting frustrated and I could see his eyes starting to tear up. "My scared we've lost him and that I didn't try hard enough to stop it. I mean at first I gave him space so he could get passed your break-up but he started spiralling and I should have noticed."

"Quinn you've been doing fine, I know on your own it's hard but I'm here now aswell and I'm going to stick around until he's better I swear." I sit down next to him and pull him into a hug. It felt weird but so familiar. Before I had left we were actually pretty good friends but after the fall out with Peeta we had drifted apart. I guess living with Peeta made it hard keeping our friendship alive.

"You better, I don't want to think about how bad it could get if you didn't. I'm glad you came back though, maybe seeing you will help him realise what he's doing to himself." Quinn says pulling away and smiling sadly.

"Do you know where he might be?" I ask checking my phone to see if Marvel had gotten back to me. He hadn't unfortunately and I began to worry about what possible situation Peeta had gotten himself into.

"No, he stopped telling me months ago. I don't even know who he hangs out with anymore. Marvel's still dealing to him though, he's the only one apart from me who's seem him really."

"Yeah I called Marvel already, I'm hoping he gets back to me soon." I say pulling my phone down on the modern glossy table in front of me.

"Well you've covered all bases then I see. You know he won't even reply to Delly's texts, and she and him used to be so close. I don't even know what happened to him, he just shut down and shut everyone else out." Quinn says getting up and grabs his phone off the kitchen bench. "And I honestly don't know how he'll react when he sees you. Where are you living now anyway?"

"Well depends on the day, I stayed with a few friends the last two weeks but right now I'm using my car." I say hesitantly, but I knew better then to lie to Quinn.

"You're kidding right? Cato why haven't you gonna home? I'm sure your family have gotten passed everything by now." Quinn replies sitting down again.

"I haven't spoken to anyone from my family since that day Quinn and I'm not going to." I re-check my phone not wanting to really discuss my family. "Look I'll fine, it's Peeta I'm more concerned about."

"Okay, but please say here on the couch until you find a place. I know it's going to hard with Peeta but you can't live out of your car Cato. It's not right and we used to close, I don't see why we can't be again. I mean we have a common interest, Peeta's health." Quinn says as there was a knock at the door. "I'll just be a second." He says getting up and heading over to the door.

Quinn returned with a taller brunette behind him, Lance. Quinn and him had been dating long before I left, though if I remember correctly they broke it off a few months before I left. I guess they are working things out. "Lance." I nod standing up and shaking his hand. "Good to see you again."

"Like wise, Quinn told me you were back. Come to clean up the mess you created?" Lance questioned.

"Lance!" Quinn scowled.

"Actually I have, I know I fucked up." I say knowing he was just being protective.

"Good, I'm glad you finally wised up. I just hope you haven't come back to late to be able to fix it." Lance said heading for the kitchen.

My phone started to ring and thankfully it was Marvel. "Sorry I need to take this it's Marvel, he may know where Peeta might be." I say standing up and heading for the balcony. "Tell me you know where he is?"

"A friend of a friend spotted him at 226 West Pope Street. Its an industrial area so keep an eye out for cops and shit."

"Sure thanks Marv, I owe you one." I say heading back inside.

"Sure thing, we'll have to catch up soon." He replies before hanging up.

I head straight for my keys and towards the front door. Quinn gave me a questioning look as I passed him. "I think I know where Peeta is." I say quickly.

"Bring him home." Quinn calls out as I walked out the front door.

I drove towards the address Marvel gave me with no regards to the speed limit. I had to find him tonight, I had to get to him before he disappeared again. When I got close I parked and headed towards what I assumed was the right building. I was one of those abandoned industrial warehouses. Once filled with worked and machinery but now a place filled with loud beats and flashing coloured lights. It was evident a rave was currently in full force. I passed small groups of different types people, all here for the same reason, to forget their problems and just dance away the night. I used to love things like this back before I moved away, before everything got so much more real and hard.

The warehouse was huge and impossibly packed. There had to be hundreds of people packing this place, it was going to be hard trying to find Peeta, a needle in a hay stack. I started to push my way through the sea of people, they moved without hesitation and restraint, bodies moving to the never ending hypnotic beat. The lighting made finding Peeta even more difficult, strobes and lasers flickered casting shadows and distorting the faces around me. It took me over forty minutes just to clear the first floor and there was no sign of him. I had asked a multitude a people, those who were able to make out what I asked over the music were no help at all. They had either never heard of or seen Peeta or where to hopped up on something to give me any real answer.

As I rounded the top of the staircase to the second level I thought I saw a sliver of the boy I was once so close to. I quickly pushed my way through the masses but when I got to where I had thought he was there was no trace of him. I spun around desperately looking when there, in the middle of the dance floor I saw him. He was dancing and grinding up against another man. Even with sweat dripping off him, hair a mess and his clothes ripped he still took my breath away. His body was hypnotic, he moved it just the right way. Enough to get you enticed but still not giving it all up. That is when I realised I knew all those feeling were still there, just dormant, hidden away and that I wouldn't be able to leave him again. Not this time, I could not go back in the past and fix what we had but I could stick around and fix him. And if that was just as a friend even though I knew I craved more that, it was going to have to do. This time I was going to put him first, something I haven't really ever done in my life.

I stood there appreciating the boy infront of me but that didn't last long when Peeta spun around and was pulled into a kiss by the man he had been grinding back against only a second ago. That set me off and I bolted towards the two. Jealousy and rage took over and it took all of my might and will not to knock the other guy out. It took me all of two seconds to yank Peeta away from his grinding buddy and into the corner of the dance floor.

It took a minute for Peeta to completely comprehend what was going on and he stared at me in disbelief. His eyes were heavy and his pupils blown. "What's going on? I was having fun, did you wanna have fun with me?" He asked sloppily as he got closer to me.

"Snap out of it Peeta, it's Cato and I'm taking you home. What are you on?" I say trying to sound as calm as possible. The last thing I needed what him to get aggressive.

"Cato?" He asked as he searched deep for the answer as if it was buried in my eyes.

"Yes Cato, what are you on Peeta?" I asked for a second time hoping this time he was actually listening.

He laughed more to himself. "Impossible my Cato left me."

I sighed, almost cringing at what he had just said. I knew he didn't mean it as a dig but it made me feel as if I had let him down. "It's me Peeta, Cato, your Cato, the Cato you went to high school with. The Cato you dated for four years before he left to try and make it big time but failed miserably."

I suppose the drugs made him question if I was really standing infront of him but when he realised that I really was his face turned to one filled with hurt and hate. "What the hell are you doing here Cato?" He yelled out in anger and not because of the loud music.

"For you." I stated simply.

I saw more pain wash over him. "You can't do that, you can't say shit like that. You left okay, I don't need this or you. Just leave me alone."

He went to walk away but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back infront of me. "Peeta, you need to stop this. The drugs, the disappearing, it all needs to end. This isn't you and it's hurting the people you love."

"Hurting them? Hurting them? What about me? What if I'm hurting Cato? What then?" He screamed. "But then again how would you know, you fucking left me. And that's exactly what I'm about to do to you." Peeta spat and just as he pulled his arm out of my grasp the music cut out. I turned around to see the police running up the staircase, Peeta froze as the colour drained from his face. "Cato, get me out of here."

"Peeta it's fine I'm sure they'll just let us leave." I start but he cuts me off.

"You don't get it I've got stuff in my pocket and if I get caught again I'm going to get charged and end up in jail." Peeta said, anger void from his voice now fear the only thing present.

I looked around and saw an open window out to the roof next to us. I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the window before stepping through it and pulling Peeta through it. We quickly made it over to the fire exit stairs and walked back to my car in the shadows, making sure not to draw any unwanted attention to ourselves. I got into the drivers seat as Peeta sat in the passenger's seat and we just sat there for a minute. I turned and looked at him properly foe the first time tonight. That is when I saw it for the first time, how wrecked he really was. He didn't have that natural glow anymore, his eyes were bloodshot and he had deep dark bags under his eyes. His hair was dull and lifeless, bruises marred his once perfect skin and he looked slightly underfed. He had lost some of the muscle mass he once held, bones now more predominate. Quinn was right he was starting to waste away and it pained me seeing him like this. My guilt was starting to resurface, I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes, instead starting the car and heading back to his apartment.

The drive was dead silent, neither of us new what to say to the other. Just as I thought the awkwardness was going to suffocate us both Peeta burst out into tears. I sigh in defeat, feeling like me being here was actually hurting him more then helping him. "How bad is it Peeta?"

"I, we, I'm just so lost." He choked out. "I know I need to stop but it's so hard, and you were gone."

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know what I was supposed to say at all. As much as I wanted to be there for Peeta I wasn't sure I would be able to.

"Well say something Cato, anything. Just get it over with, I'm a mess I know. I'm sorry but I just couldn't, I, couldn't be that person anymore. He gave up along time ago." Peeta turned away and hugged himself resting his head on the window.

"You're going to be that boy again. I promise I'm going to do anything I can to help you. I'm not going to leave you this time."

Peeta laughed in disbelief. "Don't promise me thing we both know you can't keep. I gave up on believing a word you said a long time ago."

"Peeta, I don't want to fight. I'm here because you need help and I'm going to be there this time." I reply putting a hand on hi shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. "Now can you give me whatever drugs you have on you?"

Peeta sighed before digging his hand into his pocket and producing a bag. "Fine, it's probably better you take it now while I don't need it."

I took the bad and threw it out my window before putting my hand back on his shoulder. "Thank you."

He shrugged away from my touch. "You're here because Quinn didn't know what else to do. Admit it, you're here because he called you."

"He may have called me but I'm here because I want to be." I say as I pulled up infront of the apartment building.

"Bullshit, you're here because you feel guilty! And you know what I don't need your pity or your help. Its not my problem you feel crap because you gave up on us so you could be a big football star and you fucked it up. It's not my fault you have nothing now it's yours." Peeta yelled getting out of the car and storming off towards the building before I had even parked properly.

"Peeta, stop. Wait for a second." I call out turning off the car and running after him.

"No you can't just waltz back into my life after what happened. You broke me Cato, shattered my heart, I would have done anything for you. I would have followed you anywhere but I wasn't enough was I? We weren't enough for you, that's why you gave up on us right?" Tears started to really flow from Peeta's eyed.

I took a step closer wiping the tears from his cheeks. "It wasn't like that, I didn't mean to..."

"Hurt me? Well you did and I don't know if I can ever forgive you." Peeta said backing away from me.

"Peeta please, I, I can't change the past. I'm sorry, I truly am but I'm not leaving. You need help Peeta, you need to stop and even if you hate and yell at me everyday for the rest of my life I'm going to make sure you get passed this. I know it may not seem like it but I still care about you, I'm not going to give up on you."

"Peeta?" Quinn asked appearing from the entrance door. He looked between us both realising he had interrupted something. "Um maybe it's best you both come inside. We not need the neighbours calling the cops again."

I furrowed my brow confused, again? Why had the police been rung before? I shrugged it off and headed back to my car before pulling out a bag of clothes and heading in after Peeta. He looked confused for a second before seeing the bag and turning to Quinn angrily.

"He's not staying with us." Peeta grumbled before he headed to the elevator.

"He has no where else to go Peeta and I need someone else around to keep an eye on you while I'm at work. Someone has to pay the rent you know." Quinn snapped back following him into the elevator. I hesitated for a second.

"Come on, I'm not holding the door forever." Peeta growled.

I filed into the elevator, Quinn standing between us probably to stop us from fighting anymore. Once the doors opened again we headed towards the door. Peeta went straight for his room, slamming the door behind him. I sat down on the couch which had already been converted into a bed for me. "Thanks for this Quinn."

"Thanks for finding him and bringing him home." Quinn replied standing in the doorway. "You know you won't be able to just leave him his time, he won't survive it again."

"I know and this time I'm not going to. He was my everything, I was just to dumb to know it at the time." I admit pulling off my top and throwing it on my bag.

"I know you were. Well I'm going to bed, got a full day of work tomorrow. You know where everything is." Quinn said turning towards the hall to his room.

"Sure, thanks again Quinn." I say again laying down on pulling the blank over me and I kicked off my shoes.

"Night." Quinn called out as he disappeared behind his door.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, I was so emotionally drained from today my brain severely needed some rest. I was just getting into a good dream before I felt my body move but it wasn't at my choice. Confused my eyes fluttered open as I felt warmth hit my chest. I looked down to find messy dirty blonde hair under my chin. Peeta must have slipped onto the couch while I was asleep. He was pressed up against my chest, his face buried between my pecs. His warm breath tickling my bare skin. "Peeta?" At realising I was awake he pressed a kiss to my chest before making his way up to my lips. "Peeta? What are you doing?"

He shut me up with a kiss. "Stop questioning it. I just need you to hold me. I've needed this for so long." He continued to plant kisses over my lips and jaw before his hands slide down my chest towards my crotch. I grabbed a hold of his arms before he reach it and pulled back from him.

"Peeta, I don't think this is a good idea. You just want a quick high, I quick fuck so for a second you forget and feel better. I'm not going to be that for you." I say looking him in the eyes. I could see he knew I was right and nodded.

"Thanks for stopping me, but um, could I stay here with you still. I missed being held by you."

"Fine, but only because I've missed it aswell." I admit wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. I wasn't sure if this was a mistake or not. My body cried out for me to take him right here on the couch. He wanted it as much as I did so why not? Because he's an addict I told myself. He doesn't know what he wants anymore and I'd be taking advantage of that if I let him continue.

"Cato?" Peeta's voice broke my out of my thoughts.

"Yeah Peeta." I say instinctively kissing his forehead because I could here the pain and worry in his voice.

"I can't lose you again, I won't survive it next time."


	2. Facing The Past

**Yay! Second chapter already! Once again I feel like this chapter is really slow, so I apologises in advance. There's just a lot of back story to slowly filter in, sooo that means you gets get some answers in this chapter :D. Yay. **

**Soo I've been thinking maybe putting a poll up on my profile like CupcakeSprinkles14 did. (if you don't know who she is I very disappointed it you!) Anyway you'd be able to vote for my next story... good idea? bad idea? Thoughts? Let me know :).**

**As I have said before, all grammar and spelling errors are my own and I apologise ahead. Also I do not own any part of the Hunger Games... wish I did but I don't still thank you Suzanne Collins for your amazing series.**

**Warning: smut, swearing, possible drug use, violence, boy on boy, possible girl on girl, talk of abuse, OOC-ness and all the wonderful bad things in life.**

**To all those who reviewed/favourited/followed thank you! It means the world, seriously. I know I say it a lot but it's everything to me when you do! Xoxoxo**

**CupcakeSprinkles14- omg thank you, so so so glad you liked it. I got to it as soon as I could :D hope you like this chapter aswell. Xoxoxo**

**Conspiration-ultd- bahahahah I know right, soooo my back story. :) some stuff has already been revealed below :D YAY. Thanks for the love boo! Xoxoxo**

**Fuzzyfeather- yes very different to what I normally do. So glad you liked it and it was interesting. Yes the block seems to finally been all gone, praise alexander! Haha anyway I hope what's below is enough for now! Xoxoxo**

**pumpkinking5- aww thanks I'm glad you liked it :). Hope you continue to boo. Xoxoxo**

**fanboyingfiction- why thank you boo! So happy you think the plotline is interesting. Wow I think those where some of the kindest words I've ever seen, seriously thanks for the love! Xoxoxo**

**ardiethepenguin- awww thanks :) glad it wasn't boring. Haha glad I got some emotions outta you and thanks for the love. Xoxoxo**

**CrystalXHeartlace- haha well I hope that's in a good way that I left you speechless :/. Xoxoxo**

**TheArchduchess- oh I know, it's going to be a real struggle for him. Xoxoxo**

**MastermindBunny- aww thanks and yes drugs really has wrecked him. Back story will for sure continue to come :). Well I hope it does stay interesting for you! Xoxoxo**

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**Dogcatooo- awww thanks, glad you find it interesting and you are probably right, I'll get into it more as I go along. Xoxoxo**

It's Hard To Say there Is Nothing I Regret

Chapter Two: Facing The Past

He shut me up with a kiss. "Stop questioning it. I just need you to hold me. I've needed this for so long." He continued to plant kisses over my lips and jaw before his hands slide down my chest towards my crotch. I grabbed a hold of his arms before he reach it and pulled back from him.

"Peeta, I don't think this is a good idea. You just want a quick high, a quick fuck so for a second you forget and feel better. I'm not going to be that for you." I say looking him in the eyes. I could see he knew I was right and nodded.

"Thanks for stopping me, but um, could I stay here with you still. I missed being held by you."

"Fine, but only because I've missed it aswell." I admit wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. I wasn't sure if this was a mistake or not. My body cried out for me to take him right here on the couch. He wanted it as much as I did so why not? Because he's an addict I told myself. He doesn't know what he wants anymore and I'd be taking advantage of that if I let him continue.

"Cato?" Peeta's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah Peeta." I say instinctively kissing his forehead because I could here the pain and worry in his voice.

"I can't lose you again, I won't survive it next time."

"I know." I sighed kissing his forehead without a second thought. Just being around him for a few hours, even after all this time apart, was bringing back old habits. I didn't mean to kiss him, it was just a reflex, instinct, out of habit. But I knew I didn't regret having him in my arms again one bit. Peeta snuggled up as close to me as possible as I shut my eyes in content. Tonight I was going to be able to rest easy, him bring in my arms again making me feel safe and warm, like everything was going to be alright.

I slowly wake the next morning to kisses being planted on my neck. I didn't bother to open my eyes, I just laid there on my back enjoying the attention. Whoever was on top of me was kissing me on my sweet spot at the bottom of my neck. Their hand had slipped into my pants, fisting my aching member. I took in a deep breath and new straight away it was Peeta. He had this distinct smell to him that I loved. It was hard to explain, natural musk with a hint of cinnamon and vanilla was as close as I could get in describing it.

For a moment I just laid there enjoying Peeta's touch, reality feeling like a dream. It felt as if I had never left, as if all the bad thing between us and to Peeta had not happened. They were just a distant nightmare, but then I realised it wasn't. I remembered what had happened last night and my eyes shot open. "Peeta? Stop it now." I say firmly even though my body was saying something completely different.

"Oh come on Cato, it's obvious you want it. And I want it to, it's been to long. I've missed this, I've missed you so stop thinking and let it happen." Peeta whispered into my ear.

"Not going to happen." I reply grabbing a hold of Peeta's hand and pulling it off me.

"Cato, come on don't be stupid. Its me Peeta and I need you. I need this right now, I thought you were going to help me. I need this Cato please, I still crave you, I still need you, I still want you." Peeta started to say desperately.

"I can't Peeta, not when you're like this. We'd both regret it later okay, so please just stop it for now." I tell him, trying to sound supportive and neutral. I had to make it clear that while my body said one thing I meant another, I meant for him to get better not take advantage of our situation.

"Really?" Peeta questioned angrily, I knew then another mood swing was about to unleash itself on me. "The only thing I regret is coming out here last night, thinking you were here because you still loved me. But it's obvious it's just because you feel guilty, you look at me and pity me. Well fuck you Cato." He screamed getting up. "I don't fucking need you anyway."

He stormed off to his room once again, I just laid there in disbelief. The drugs have really done a number on Peeta. He had always been mild manned and sweet growing up, now he was more a bipolar basket-case. I didn't know how I was going to cope with the situation, how I would be able to get Peeta passed it and back to who he was. I sighed as I sat up, rubbing my hand over my face. This was going to be rough but I knew it was also necessary. I stood up and grabbed my t-shirt from last night as I headed into the kitchen. I threw the tee over my shoulder as I switched the coffee machine on.

I knew starting from tonight onwards Peeta was only going to get worse as we tried to get him clean. That meant tonight we were going to have to go through the whole house and throw out all the hidden drugs, making sure there was nothing that Peeta could use in the house. As the coffee machine finished Lance appeared from down the hall. "Morning."

"Morning Cato, how's Peeta? His yelling woke me up." Lance asked grabbing himself a mug aswell and myself one.

"I don't know honestly, he's been pushing to have sex with me since last night and I won't do that to him. I know he'd just be using me to get that high." I reply hoping to hell Peeta was cooling down in his room. Though it worried me he could just be using while he locked himself up in there.

"Right, well in that case you're doing good. I know Quinn doesn't like to admit it but in your absence and at the start of his drug use, Peeta's worked out how to really lie and manipulate people. He's become a shell of himself, and I know it may be hard to hear but as much as he plays the victim he knows exactly what he's doing and saying." Lance said as I poured us both a coffee. "That being said every now and then I see a flicker of the boy we all used to know. He's still in there somewhere Cato. And that means all hope isn't lost."

"I know, I saw a flicker of the old Peeta last night. I just hope he's ready to really try and turn his life around. If he's not willing to try all our efforts are going to be pointless." I say heading over the a stool behind the kitchen bench. "So you and Quinn, back together for good?"

"I think so, I mean after you left we didn't see each other for about four months. And then by chance bumped into each other out on night, and I can't explain, seeing him just brought all those emotions back. Something I'm guessing you're experiencing right now?" Lance asked sitting down next to me.

"Definitely." I agreed, all my 'forgotten' feelings had resurfaced. Even though I wasn't going to admit that to Peeta yet I still did actual love him and want to be with him. "So you guys worked out your issues then?"

"Yeah, us as a couple right now, we've never been in a better place. Which is funny considering how worn out and stressed he's been regarding Peeta." Lance sighs. "He wants me to move back in, I mean I stay here generally ninety per cent of the time. But I've just been holding back because I didn't want Peeta to use it as an excuse to disappear on us more often."

"Well I'm hoping we won't have to worry about that for much longer. I'm going so stay and keep an eye on him." I say finished my coffee.

"Well you're off to a pretty crappy start then, I'm pretty sure I heard Peeta slip out his window and down the fire escape before I got up."

I bolted up and ran to his room, bursting through the door. Lance was right his window was wide open and Peeta was no where in sight. "Shit." I muttered heading back to the kitchen.

"I probably should have told you sooner." Lance said as he washed out our mugs looking apologetic.

"I should have known he would have done that. I'm just hoping he turns up tonight or I'm going to have to go out looking for him again and this time I know he'll make it harder for me to find him." I pulled my top on and grabbed my phone and wallet. "If I'm not back when Quinn shows up tell him I'm finally biting the bullet and going home."

"Seriously? What's brought that on?" Lance asked surprised, he knew why I hadn't spoken to my family in over four years because he had been there when everything went to hell.

"I'm not going to let Quinn struggle while I sleep on the couch, it's not fair on him. I just going to check in, see if I still have a trust fund and if so get mum to let me access it. I don't know how he does it, I mean taking care of Peeta, working, studying full time, he's got to be stretched to his limits." I say, I watched Lance stiffen at the last part of what I had said which confused me. "What? Lance just tell me."

"He's not in school anymore." Lance replied.

"What do you mean? When I left he was just starting a four year course." I didn't understand, he was so excited when I left, he had worked so hard to get accepted why would he have stopped.

"He had to drop out Cato. If he hadn't they would have lost the apartment. Peeta went off the deep end and left Quinn to pay all the bills, it doesn't help he went and used all his saving he had been saving for that trip to Europe to send Peeta to rehab. Which as you can see didn't work, I've helped out as much as I can but you know what Quinn's like he doesn't like to admit he's in over his head."

"What about Peeta's family? Maddi?, surely Quinn could have stayed in school, I mean shit Lance I feel so guilty now. I haven't only fucked up Peeta's life but Quinn's aswell." I say feeling the guilt rise to the surface again, how could I have not known about this? Why hadn't Quinn contacted me sooner? I can't believe he went and used all his savings to put Peeta through rehab only to have Peeta return to drugs. The guilt made me feel sick but I also started to question Peeta more. He must have known Quinn used all his money and yet he went back to it. Did he care at all about Quinn anymore? Did he care about anyone anymore? Was he really that far gone?

"Peeta's mother threw him out, disowned him about a month into him using. We haven't seen any of his family apart from Ryden who isn't much help because he's in the army and is out of the country on duty right now. He sends money when he can but apart from that Peeta's family has given up on him. As for Quinn's family, Maddie comes over often with groceries, probably once a fortnight but she is struggling to pay tuition aswell. Since their mothers death their stepfather hasn't given them a cent. So they haven't had all the luxuries they had growing up for awhile now."

"Well all the more reason to finally go see my family then. I've got to try and fix this, I never meant for this to happen Lance." I say and I pulled my shoes on.

"I know you didn't Cato and I'm not holding you responsible. I'm just glad you're here now and want to help out." Lance says heading back to Quinn's room. "If Peeta comes home I'll call you."

"Thanks Lance, hopefully I'm not to long." I head for the door when I notice a note stuck to it. It was from Quinn.

'If you can try to keep Peeta home.' Well I failed at that already. 'I finish at four and will be home around four-twenty. I know you know what needs to be done tonight if we want to get him clean I just need you to call my sister for me. She'll help us go through the house, tell her to be here by five. Thanks Cato, Q.'

I pulled the door open and locked it behind me and I went straight passed the elevator and headed down the stair well. I slipped into my car and turned it on, just sitting there for a second. I took a deep breath and started to drive, I could do this. I could face my family and I was going to be back to help out with Peeta.

Honestly I had missed them at times, especially my mother and sister but after what happened I wasn't sure they would want to see me. And knowing I was going to see them was bringing back the memories of the last few times I had seen them. Coming out in high school had been hard, especially hard on my relationship with my father. When me and Peeta first started to fool around and see each other we had kept it a secret. Just telling people we were friends and keeping all physical affection on the down low. I think some people probably could of picked it that we were sleeping together but our families seemed obvious. That was until my father had walked in on us one morning, he came home early from a business trip and came into my room to take me out to breakfast but walked in on us making out naked in my bed, me on top of Peeta and his legs wrapped around my waist. I'll just say he wasn't to happy about my relationship with Peeta but once he knew we decided to just come out and tell everyone.

While the rest of my family seemed unaffected he wasn't the same around me. Our relationship really became rocky, even more so when I told him I didn't want to go to business school and follow in his footsteps at the company. It had never interested me but after coming out I had even less motivation to do what my father wanted or spend time with him. And if I had taken the job at my father's company I'd basically see him everyday. After that he would pick at me whenever we were together, a feeling of disgust, disapproval and him being ashamed of me constantly radiated off him. He was openly rude and hateful to Peeta aswell, which made it harder for me to sit by and take whatever he threw at me. I tried though for my mothers sake until one christmas, he had drunk to much, he took things to far with Peeta. And after a few particularly comments and him shoving Peeta I lost it, I don't really remember what happened just waking up on the floor in Peeta's arms, everyone looked fearful of me, everyone crying and my father being taken to hospital in an ambulance. My knuckles were bruised for weeks after and I haven't really seen my family since.

I went to the hospital to see him though the day after but my sister told me he didn't want to see me ever again. Apparently I broke his noise and hand, fractured his cheek and a rib, and gave him a multitude of bruises over his body. And I think that's when Peeta and I started to have problems. After that I had this hole, this guilt inside me. I wasn't the same, that hole ate at me. I knew I had scared Peeta and I honestly had scared myself. That anger, losing control, the fact that it come from somewhere deep inside me scared me the most. I was scared I'd lose control again and hurt Peeta. Which probably screwed us more then anything because I found myself angry more often because it was always on my mind. I'd snap at peeta more often, take it out on him but I never meant to. Then the problems just continued to pile up and the rest is hostory.

As I pulled up to the driveway an uneasy feeling crept into my stomach. Was I really about to do this, I only hoped my father wasn't home, facing my mother was going to be hard enough. I don't even know what in going to say to her, I parked and slowly headed towards the front door. I noticed my sisters car was on the driveway so I knew she was atleast home. I unlocked the front door and quietly walk into the front room, it was empty. I continued through to the kitchen where I could hear voices in the dinning room. I walked towards the noise and when I walked through the doorway a saw my mother and sister sitting down eating brunch.

My sister was the first to notice me standing there. She dropped her fork and immediately stood up. "Cato?" She quickly pulled me into a hug. I saw her start to get emotional, her eyes instantly getting glassy.

"I'm back." I replied simply, returning her hug with probably a little to much force. "I missed you Liv." I looked over to my mother who already seemed to be crying.

I didn't expect it to feel this way, I thought they'd hate me and kick me out. But seeing them, I realised how much I actually missed them. Olivia finally let go and my mother shakily walked over to me. "Mum, I'm sorry, I."

"Stop, it's in the past. I'm just glad you're home." She said over me before hugging me, I could actually feel myself starting to get teary eyed. "Come sit, you must be here for a reason."

"I, well yes." I say sitting down next to Olivia. "I'm assuming you heard about the scholarship I got."

"We did, we were so proud Cato. And when I heard about your injury, it must have been heartbreaking. I wish I have had the courage to just reach out to you. I shouldn't have just let you disappear the way I did."

"Mum it's fine, like you said in the past. And I know we have a lot of catching up to do, where is father?" I ask knowing bringing him up would make things a lot more awkward but I needed to know if he was here or not. If he was I was going to be quick and leave as soon as possible. I doubt I'd be able to face him after all this time.

"Away for the week, he had business somewhere on the other side of the country." My mother replied, her voice strained talking about him to me. "Are you back for good? Where are you staying?"

"Oh good, I am back for good. I'm actually crashing on Peeta and Quinn's couch as of yesterday." I say knowing Peeta was also probably a touchy subject.

"I see, well you're more then welcome to stay here. We'd deal with your father once he returned." She said seeming excited at the possibility of me moving back home.

"I can't mum, I'm needed there and I don't think I'd be able to live under the same roof as father after everything anyway." I reply looking down at the table. "I'm actually here because, well I wanted to know if I could get my trust fund. I realise you don't have to give it to me, it would just help me a lot. It feels so wrong asking for it but yeah, is it even possible?"

"Oh honey of course. I'm assuming you don't have all that much when it comes to money at the moment. I actually have your card in my purse, I've had it there for awhile waiting for the day you came back. But first tell me what's happened, how is Peeta?"

"Um well before I left we broke up. And he hasn't been doing very well in the two years I've been gone. He's hooked on drugs and that's why I'm staying with them. We are going to try and get him clean, I feel so guilty mum. I basically screwed up their lives because my own personal issues. But since being back and seeing Peeta I've realised I still want him, I need him mum and he's so messed up, so far in, I need to save him like he used to save me." I admit, I couldn't leave Peeta again. I knew without him my life had no meaning.

"I see, oh that poor boy. Well Cato all I can say is my glad you've come to your senses and you know what you want. You have to know that's all I wanted for you, to be happy and if that's with Peeta then be with him. Your father, as much as I love him didn't do right by you and after the, accident, I realised I should put a stop to it along time ago." She looked away for a second.

My phone starts to ring unexpectedly. I apologises to my mother and sister before stepping into the kitchen. "Hello?"

"It's Lance, he showed up. He was definitely on something but he's sleeping it off so you should probably come home soon before he disappears again."

"Alright I'll be back soon then. Thanks for calling Lance." I replied, now relieved Peeta had already come back home.

"No problem, oh and don't worry about calling Maddie, she's coming over anyway. She went and saw Quinn at work. And I'm about to head to work now."

"Alright thanks again, I'll see you soon." I hang up the phone and head back into the dining room.

"Do you have to go?" My sister asks as I sit back down.

"Yeah Peeta's shown up, he's back at the apartment so I'll need to go soon to make sure he doesn't leave again. We're going to go through the house and find anything he's hidden and throw it out." I reply.

"Well then you should go, we can catch up after you've gotten him clean." My mother says standing up. "Just so you know with your trust fund you can't make any purchases over ten thousand without the bank informing your father. So maybe try and not buy anything to expensive."

"Alright, thanks again mum. I know after everything I don't really deserve this." I say following her to the kitchen bench where she had left her bag.

She passed me the card and smiled at me before hugging me again. "I've missed you honey."

"I've missed you aswell. I'll try and come back soon. I might call first next time though." I say hugging her back.

"If you need anything just call me."

"I will." I let go and hug my sister once more. "I'll see you guys soon." I say leaving and heading for the front door.

I was home within a half hour, Peeta asleep in his room. I sat on the couch and waited for the others to get home. At some point I must have fallen asleep, I mean I did have afew hours until Maddie and Quinn would show up. What I didn't expect was to find Peeta once again in my arms. "Peeta why do I keep waking to you in my arms. I don't get it, it seems like you hate me."

"I don't hate you, I'm a mess right now. I didn't mean to snap this morning, I know you're just looking out for me. I know what you guys are going to do tonight, get rid of all my hidden helpers."

"Peeta they need to go if you're going to get better." I say pulling him slower.

"I know, I need you to know over the next few weeks whatever I may say I am actually glad you're here and you're right I need to get passed this."

I looked over at the clock to see we still had two hours until Quinn would probably be home. I just closer my eyes and enjoyed the peace of the moment because I knew this was just the calm before the storm. Peeta going cold turkey was going to be the hardest things to face for the both of us.


	3. Beginning The Hard Road To Recovery

**Okay YAY third chapter is finally here! I still feel like this story is moving really slowly back it's growing on me thankfully. Hope you like though. :) **

**As you may know there is a poll up on my profile to see which idea you'd like to see next. I think I'm going to close it next week at some point sooooo please if you haven't voted yet please do! I'll love you forever!**

**Oh also people, please check out the story: The Boy with the Charm by Dreams or Fantasies. Its totally cute and new and Peetato sooo you must love it! I donk think it's been all that popular and I wanted to just let you guys know about ti because well we need to keep Peeto alive and I love it sooo READ IT! ;). Xo**

**As I have said before, all grammar and spelling errors are my own and I apologise ahead. Also I do not own any part of the Hunger Games... wish I did but I don't still thank you Suzanne Collins for your amazing series.**

**Warning: smut, swearing, drug use, violence, boy on boy, possible girl on girl, talk of abuse, OOC-ness and all the wonderful bad things in life.**

**To all those who reviewed/favourited/followed thank you! It means the world, seriously. I know I say it a lot but it's everything to me when you do! Xoxoxo**

**CupcakeSprinkles14- sorry for the wait. :/ Mmmhmm cold turkey Peeta is going to be an interesting one. You'll see a glimpse in this chapter, but that's probably nothing compared what could possibly come. :) thanks for the love boo! Xoxoxo**

**pumpkinking5- :D wow yes yes and yes... haha I'm glad you liked it and you like that Cato is being realistic in this situation. As for Peeta yeah, he's going to be back and forth a lot I think on the getting clean idea. :D Thanks for the love boo! Xoxoxo**

**Conspiration-ultd- bahahaha dunno but it is 4000 words. Teheheh you wish, 5000 a chapter is just impossible. Awwww I love how dramatic your reviews are! Yes you are right Cato does (and this chapter may support that idea) :D hope like this chapter aswell! Xoxoxo**

**TheArchduchess- oh I know right, not fun times right now. Xoxoxo**

**Fuzzyfeather- :D happy you liked getting some back story. Yeah well we will see how long Cato can actually hold out. Thanks for the love boo! Xoxoxo**

**ardiethepenguin- Mmhmm it can do, depending on how deep you fall down the rabbit hole. Teheheh well glad I could be educational and add to the list :D. Xoxoxo**

**Dreams or Fantasies- :D omg you've gone and read like almost everything now. Thanks so much! Glad you like the length, admittedly it takes me awhile to update though. Still hope you continue to enjoy it! Xoxoxo**

**CrystalXHeartlace- :D well I'm glad, and I hope you like where I take the story boo. Xoxoxo**

**Dogcatooo- YAY glad you liked it and I'm glad you took the time to read my new story. Thanks for the love boo! Xoxoxo**

It's Hard To Say There Is Nothing I Regret

Chapter Three: Beginning The Hard Road Ahead

I was home within a half hour, Peeta asleep in his room. I sat on the couch and waited for the others to get home. At some point I must have fallen asleep, I mean I did have afew hours until Maddie and Quinn would show up. What I didn't expect was to find Peeta once again in my arms. "Peeta why do I keep waking to you in my arms. I don't get it, it seems like you hate me."

"I don't hate you, I'm a mess right now. I didn't mean to snap this morning, I know you're just looking out for me. I know what you guys are going to do tonight, get rid of all my hidden helpers."

"Peeta they need to go if you're going to get better." I say pulling him closer.

"I know, I need you to know over the next few weeks whatever I may say I am actually glad you're here and you're right I need to get passed this."

I looked over at the clock to see we still had two hours until Quinn would probably be home. I just close my eyes and enjoyed the peace of the moment because I knew this was just the calm before the storm. Peeta going cold turkey was going to be the hardest thing to face, for the both of us.

"You do still have feelings for me though, right?" Peeta questioned, I could hear a hint of hope in his voice.

"I, honestly I do yes, they never stopped." I admit before letting out a deep breath.

"Good because I still do to. Maybe this time it'll be better." Peeta says nuzzling his face into my chest.

"Peeta, I um, I don't know if us getting back together while you're getting clean is the best idea. I mean what if I send you off the deep end again. What if I hurt you again and you spiral?" I was scared of what would happen to Peeta if we didn't work out again. I was so conflicted because I didn't want to be without him but at the same time I was afraid to get near him.

"Cato, it's going to be hard enough fighting to stay clean. I don't want to have to be fighting my feelings for you at the same time. I know I'm going to be depending on you a lot over the next few months and I realise you're scared you'll make it worse but that's not possible. I, I know this isn't going to be smooth sailing but no matter what happens my feelings won't change. With you here I may have relapses but I know, I believe, with you here I'll get through this. So please Cato stop denying me what we know is true, that we both still want each other. That we need each other in our lives."

I didn't know what to say to that, Peeta had left me speechless. I was immobilised in a mix of emotions, of dreams and doubts, of fears and wants. I looked down at Peeta and saw the boy I fell for, the boy I loved and I realised he need me, all of me. "Peeta I want to its just..."

"Stop, it's fine. This isn't about sex this time, this time it's just having you with me. You being by my side, I want you there alright. Please just listen to me now before any withdrawal symptoms kick in, because I know I won't be able to control what comes out of my mouth then. I need you, so please if you are going to stay here and work through this with me it's probably better I'm never left alone." Peeta sat up, resting an arm over my chest as he looked at me.

I sat up to look him in the eyes, our faces now only inches apart. "What exactly are you asking of me?"

"I'm going to need you to watch me twenty-four seven, even at night, so I figure, if you don't mind, maybe um, you could possibly stay in my room with me. I know it's not smart but me being alone seems like more of an issue then sharing a bed with you." He starts to get flushed making me smile, this was the old Peeta right now.

"Alright." I say, causing Peeta to look at me with a smile. "But whatever is going on between us, we just need to be careful. I couldn't bear it if I hurt you again."

"You wouldn't, you are going to be my anchor in all this Cato. Just don't leave me this time." He says looking away from me.

I put a hand on his cheek and guide his face back towards me so he's looking at me again. "I won't." I reply before Peeta puts a hand at the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss. This kiss itself was quick but it brought back all those good memories in an instant. It was as if it was a sign we were on the right track to getting all of what we had back but more importantly getting Peeta healthy again.

"Where did you go today?" Peeta surprisingly asks out of nowhere.

"I went to see my mother, I thought it time to finally face my own problems first before trying to help you with yours." I say laying back down.

"How did it go?" Peeta shakily asks, concern in his voice.

"Actually really well, father wasn't there so I just got to talk to mum and Liv. Its weird like when I saw you for the first time, I didn't realise how much I loved and missed them." I reply as Peeta rests himself over me.

"So it went well, I'm glad." He starts to giggle to himself suddenly.

"What?" I question with a grin, he was cute like this. I knew this part of him wasn't going to be around a lot soon so I knew I had to cherish it. I had to remember this cute moment were he acted all innocent and like himself again before, like he said, withdrawal kicks in.

"You just admitted that when you first saw me you realised how much you missed me, how much you still loved me." He smirks crawling up and straddling my waist. "Sooo then do you still love me, how much? This much?" He teased kissing my neck. "Or this much?" He the proceeded to kiss my cheek. "Or maybe..." He trailed off as he searched my eyes for something, I saw his eyes get glassy. "How and why do you still love me?"

"Peeta." I grab a hold of his face before he could retract away. I didn't expect him to get so insecure so suddenly and it worried me. I wasn't going to lie now though, he needed to know, understand that I'd always love him. "I still do because it's you, I could only ever love you."

"But why Cato I'm fucked up, like really fucked up." Tears start to fall from his eyes. It made me question if this was why he had turned to drugs. When I left, had Peeta somehow convinced himself it was because I didn't love him anymore? That I didn't have a reason to still love him? I knew he turned to drugs to mask and ignore what he had been feeling but I was going to have to find out what those issues where if we were going to fix him.

I wipe his tears away with my thumbs and pull him into a hug. I kiss his shoulder and hold him tight. "Because you still hold my heart Peeta, it's always been yours because even now, at you're lowest, I see a kind hearted boy who makes me want to be better, you make me want to stay here like this forever. To hide you away from the world and protect you but at the same time show the world you are mine, all mine. Nothing you do is ever going to change that."

He starts to sob, clinging to me tightly. "I hate that I love you so much still."

I had nothing to say to that because I knew it was true. All I could do was hold him, let him get all these pent-up emotions out. The last think he needed to do was bottle anything he was feeling. "How about we move my stuff into your room. Then we can crawl into your bed and wait for Quinn to get home."

Peeta nods against me. "Yeah, sounds good." He moved to get up and I followed, grabbing my bag as Peeta grabbed my hand and pulled me towards his room.

As we walked in I looked around. While the rest of the apartment had been changed and felt different Peetas room had hardly changed since I had moved out. The bed we once shared was still in the middle of the room, I didn't know how to feel about how similar it all was. I felt out of place but at home here at the same time. I put my bag down on the floor and sat down on the end of the bed. There was still photos of us, our friends, me scattered around the room. Notably though a few had cracked glass, as if they had been thrown about, some even had not glass infront of the photo at all. I couldn't blame him for getting frustrated, in all honesty I'm surprised he kept them around.

"Didn't change much in here." I stated as I looked over Peeta's desk, it was once covered in art supplies but these days seemed to be lacking. Instead there was rubbish littered over it and a note pad with erratic scribblings and drawings. The walls were a deep red still and the wardrobe still had a broken door. The only other thing that was different was the mess, clothes were scattered everywhere, and rubbish overflowed from the bin.

Peeta suddenly realised this and started to try to clean inconspicuously. I smirked as I watched him push his clothes into a pile in the corner. "I couldn't bear to change in here. Out there I wanted people to know I was over you, I didn't want that part of the house reminding me of you. Out there people would have noticed if I got hung up on how our old lounge still smelled a bit like you, or the lamp with the broken shade reminded me of how we broke it that night we came back and couldn't make it the whole two meters back to our room. But in here, it was my reminder of us, of all the good and all the bad. It was my way of holding onto that. Here I could cry and laugh as much as I wanted to. I could hate you but love you all that the same time and no one would know." He sat down next to me.

"Peeta I'm sorry, we should have worked it out better before I left. I shouldn't have let you go so easily, I should have explained what went on in my mind better. I should have told you how I was feeling, you deserved better." I pull him into a hug.

He returned my show of affection. "I know, we both should have tried harder. But you're here now and I'm going to get passed this."

"You are." I agree pulling us backwards so we were laying down in each others arms.

We laid there for awhile comfortably, letting the silence fill the room as we waited for the others to get here. "Cato?" Peeta's voice almost inaudible.

"What is it Peeta?"

"I'm scared." He said burying his face into my chest.

"It's okay to be. What are you scared of though?" I asked as I started to stroke the back of his hair.

"That you'll leave again, that I can't beat this. That I've hurt Quinn so many times he'll give up on me." Peeta's voice broke at the end, I knew he was getting emotional again. He really had become a bit of a basket case. "I've put him through so much and he's given up so much to take care of me. I, I'm such a bad person."

"Hey, come on he knows you still love him and that's why he won't give up on you. You're not a bad person, you just lost your way for awhile but we are going to get you back on track. Peeta you need to believe you can do this, we all know you can alright." I say trying to comfort him. "And I'm not going to leave this time, I promise."

Silence took over again and a half hour later Quinn arrived home. I heard him talking to someone in the kitchen. From the voice I could only assume it was Maddie. "Guys are you here?" He called out.

"In here." I called out, releasing Peeta so we could both sit up.

Quinn appeared at the door. "Everything okay?" He questioned looking between the two of us.

"Yeah, we just talked for a bit while we waited for you." I reply standing up.

"Alright." Quinn gave me a questioning look when he noticed my stuff in the room but I shook my head and mouthed 'not now'. He nodded and studied Peeta for a moment. "Maddie is here, are we going to do what we discussed tonight?"

"Yeah, I need them gone." Peeta spoke up as he stood. "I know I won't be saying that later but it needs to be done. I need to get back on track, I need to get it together so you can live your own life again."

"Peeta." Quinn went to disagree but Peeta spoke over him.

"It's true, and if that's Lance moving back in then he should. You need to stop putting your life on hold for me Quinn." Peeta says walking towards him.

"I will." Quinn said as he pulled Peeta into a hug. "You're going to beat this, we can get you clean again. And then I'm going to force the two of you to go out on crappy double dates." He laughed, knowing that being to serious right now would only make things harder.

"I know with you and Cato here I can." Peeta said once he pulled away from the embrace.

"Okay so maybe we should get you to do something, distract you while we find it all?" Quinn questioned, not all that sure what to do. Though I did think that was a really good idea.

"Yeah I think that's best. Um, I could start dinner once you have gone through the kitchen I guess. I'd say I could just start now but we'll with temptation in reach, I'm not sure I could stop myself" Peeta said sitting back on the bed. "I'll stay here with Cato until then I guess."

"Alright. Its good you're being smart about this Peeta. It shows that you really are trying this time." Quinn nodded with a warm smile before turning towards the door. "I'll come get you when we are done."

I sat back down next to Peeta. "Don't think about it to much." I say as I stroke his cheek with my left hand.

"I'm trying not to." I could see him starting to fidget though. I guess just knowing that they were getting rid of it all was a big thing for him. If anything it was going to be impossible for him not to want something right now. "Um, distract me?"

"Umm alright, um shit my minds gone blank." I say with a laugh, Peeta laughs at me again. My hand slipped to the back of his neck and I pulled him into a kiss. My last ditch effort to distract him since my brain had failed to come up with anything else. It was slow and powerful the kiss, filled with passion and lust. We continued until we both needed to breathe again. "That distract you enough?"

"Mmhmm." Peeta nodded moving closer to me. "But I think I might need a bit more." He pushed his licks to mine again and opened his mouth, inviting me to take control.

I pushed him down, our lips never leaving the others, as I crawled on top of him and my tongue entered his waiting mouth. I knew in the back of my mind this was probably a really dumb thing to do but I couldn't stop myself. Having Peeta under me felt so right, so natural. Part of me knew that from now one I'd become the object of his addiction, a way to get his fix but that part of me wanted that. It wanted Peeta to need me, turn to me and I knew that was selfish of me but I couldn't stop myself, not when it came to Peeta.

Peeta's hands found their way under my top, he clinged to the muscles on my back, pulling me down on him more as he moved his hips up to grin against mine. I knew that sooner or later this wasn't going to be enough and he would be asking for sex again. And when the time came I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold out and resist saying yes. My hands found the hem of his top and slid under making their way up his sides. I started to rut my hips down into his, our crotches both rubbing up against each other. I felt him getting hard beneath me and at the same time I felt my own member start to react to the physical stimulation.

I continued to grind my hips into his and my lips made their way down his strong jaw and on to his soft neck. I pecked and bit my way down to the point between his neck and shoulder and started to suck and bite that spot once I reach it. My actions started to cause Peeta to moan, his hands still clutching on to my back. Both my hands slipped down his sides and into his sweat pants, my hands grabbing a handful of round cheek. God how I missed his body, everything about him turned me on. Peeta legs parted even more both he wrapped them over my own.

"Cato." Peeta moaned out. "Um Cato maybe, um we should cool it." He said, I could here that he didn't want to though.

I kiss his neck once more and remove my hands from his bare ass. "I know, I couldn't help myself though." I admitted as I leant up on my hand so I could look into his eyes.

Peeta grinned at my words. "Trust me I don't want to but if we continue I don't think I'd be able to stop until we had gone all the way."

"I know, I feel the same way." We kissed once move before I rolled off him.

Twenty minutes later Quinn came and got us. Peeta started dinner and I started to go through Peeta's bedroom and bathroom. I was surprised and how many hiding spots I had found. And more concerned about the about amount of drugs he seemed to have stashed away. When I was done I helped Peeta finish cooking before we all took a break to eat. Lance showed up half way through dinner and once we were done we got back to work.

When we were finally done, successfully combing through the whole house and finding every possible hidden stash, Lance disposed of it all. Peeta thankfully didn't seem to effected so far having busied himself with chores while we searched. Maddie left and I left Peeta with Quinn and Lance while I went for a shower. Now the babysitting would begin, we couldn't leave Peeta alone over the next few weeks so we were going to have to work out a schedule tomorrow at some point.

Once out of the shower I dried myself and slipped on a pair of clean boxer briefs. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a breath, I told myself I had to stay strong for Peeta. I needed to make sure he stayed clean and that meant he couldn't leave my sight. I walked out into the bedroom to find Peeta sitting crossed legged in the middle of the bed playing with the hem of his tank. "Everything alright?" I asked walking towards the bed.

Peeta jumped a bit, obviously having been deep in thought moments ago. "Yeah." He said looking up at me. His eyes travelled down my bare torso before glancing back at my face.

I smirked at him checking me out. He noticed and looked away as he started to blush. "Time for bed then?"

"Yeah." He nodded before turning around and crawling up the bed and pulling down the blankets.

I got in next to him and turned off the lamp. I pulled the covers up and turned on my side to face him. I wasn't sure what to do, I mean I wanted to spoon but was that crossing a line now I was in our, his bed? Peeta turned away from me and shuffled back until he was pressed up against me. I smirked putting my arm around him.

"Night Cato." Peeta said sleepily.

"Night Peeta." I replied leaning down and kissing his cheek. It didn't take us long to fall asleep, I think it was honestly just because I had him in my arms I found it so easy to do so.

I woke to a loud crash, I sat up startled and realised I was in bed alone. "Peeta?" I didn't get a response but the bathroom light was on so I got up and walked over towards it. I pushed open the door to see the draws had been pulled out from under the sink, the content scattered over the floor. It was evident he had been searching for a fix. It seemed withdrawal had already set in and I knew that meant I could be walking into a multitude of differing scenarios. "Peeta?"

"Cato, I just need alittle. Just a small bit. I can't do cold turkey. You see, I um, I just need to come down slowly. Just um easy down you know. I can do it, I swear." Peeta rambled from the corner of the room.

I moved slowly over to him to see him rubbing his arms as if he was cold. I got on to my knees and pulled him into a hug. "You know there isn't anything left. We got rid of it all Peeta. And even if there was some left I couldn't and wouldn't let you do that."

"But I, I, I just need a little." He said rocking back and forth, desperation evident in his voice.

"Remember you made me promise that no matter what you said I had to keep you clean." I leant back on my knees and looked him in the eye.

He was sweating like anything and couldn't sit still. "I know but I wasn't thinking straight."

I sighed pulling us both up and pushing him towards the shower. He thankfully complied and stepped in with me. I turned the taps on and held him close as the warm water ran over us. He started to shivered and I wrapped my arms tightly around him. I kissed his neck up to his ear. "You can do this, just focus on me." I whispered over and over into his ear. I felt him start to snob against me and knew things from here on out were going to get a lot harder.


End file.
